Texture vs. Readly vs. Magzter

So I love, love to read magazines - especially in the summer. I have been paying for Texture through our phone service provider for awhile now and although I have enjoyed it - I miss the fact that there aren't really any Card or Scrapbook magazines or photography magazines. So I stumbled upon Readly and Magzter and thought I'd try them both. So here is what my opinion is. Magzter offers way more magazines then Readly however, I don't like the set up for Magzter. For instance if I am on my ipad and search through "animals" there is no way to eliminate the different language magazines. Therefore I have to go through all of them - and there is a lot. However, Readly is missing PEOPLE magazine which is the reason I started with Texture in the first place. But I also miss the Card magazines and tend to buy them anyways. Also not all title are available at one time on Magzter - for instance you have to have the "Gold" edition but there are some titles you can't see. Magzter definitely has the better selection however, I am not sure my OCD is going to be okay going through some 2000 magazines everytime I want to download something.

The Big C....

Well I have recently had a bit of a scare and I was thinking how would I change my life if I was diagnosed with Cancer. What would I do or not do. I think one thing I would do is quit my job and spend every possible minute with my family. I'd like to go sailing which would mean down sizing a great deal. I'd have to sell my stamps and keep only the scrapbooking necessities I really couldn't live without. I would have to eat differently and exercise more. Spend more time with God. Get rid of lots of clutter. I tried to go through my stamps but I ended up pulling them out of the box. I think I will need Egil to help me downsize LOL. I would take more pictures, write more letters. Crochet more. So then I started thinking maybe I need to work towards doing these things WITHOUT having Cancer. But Lord I do need help my willpower is awful and parting with my scrapbook things is so hard. Anyways, we are two weeks from knowing if the antibiotics work (I pray in Jesus name they do) so little blog I'll keep you posted.

Life with a Prescription Addict

So basically this is going be a rant. My mom has been a prescription or OTC drug addict for as long as I can remember. When I was 3 I got into her purse and took some of her "Candies". Because she had so many different kinds of pills she couldn't tell the hospital what I took. They pumped my stomach and luckily I didn't die. She is also an alcoholic, so long story short my growing up life wasn't fun. Addicts tend to attract other addicts and I ended up living my childhood in a dysfunctional way. We have had a tumultous relationship to say the least. I find her addiction a weakness and she has always chosen anything else over me. We are trapped in a dance - she tries to value me as her daughter and I try to honour her as my mother, neither of us particularly likes or understands the other. I don't feel "love" towards her and she is incapable. I would never choose her as a friend or aquaintance - her tree hugger ways and addiction I find contemptuous at best. So we struggle in this toxic relationship. Off and on we have been estranged at times. Then a few years ago I thought she hit bottom and believed that God wanted me to try to help her out. I have done lots of praying and she desires a "relationship" with her grand kids. Tatjanna doesn't like her and Morgan desires a relationship with her - Morgan likes everyone to get along. So fast forward to Christmas 2011. I invited her to spend Christmas with us as we were having friends over and it was a pretty safe environment for us and her. Due to her unpredictability I can't have her here when we have other people over and Egil isn't too fond of her, for obvious reasons (her abusive ways, and the amount of money we've lent her over the years - even this past year). So I called her Dec. 24 as she had left several messages on my phone. She asked me to phone her Dec. 25 to make sure she was "up". Apparently, she can't get up and get ready for dinner by 6 pm. Messed up and that irritated me to say the least. She lives in this world where she can't look after herself BUT I can't committ her. So Morgan called her around 4 I think and of course she didn't pick up. I'd like to say I'm hurt or disappointed but mainly I am angry. Angry at myself for trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. Angry for trying yet again when I know she doesn't care. Angry knowing that if it was one of "her" friends she'd be there. Angry for letting her in to our lives. Angry because I allow her to disappoint my daughter. The one person who actually cares about her. Angry because I get so worked up it will take me days to not keep going over it and over it in my head and in my dreams. She called us at 7 and left a message saying she just got up (how messed up is that) and that it was probably too late to come over. Then she called about 3 more times. So here is how the cycle goes. I call her back - she is remorseful then when that doesn't work she tries to placate me with the gifts she bought us, this doesn't work so then she gets aggressive and verbally abusive. Up until this night I believed that God's will for me was to "honour" my mother, forgive her 7 x 70. But then I realized she is an ADDICT. What is required for my sanity and our family is for me to use Tough Love on her and that means walking away until she either gets help or dies. Sounds harsh but in reality I can't live in this cycle that has trapped me off and on for 40 years. I am an adult with my own family. Truthfully I wish there was a way I could divorce her. The chaos and turmoil she reeks on my life is exasperating. I did some research on addicts and this helped me somewhat. What I'd really like to do is berate her and have her actually hear me and be remorseful. But like all addicts she can't do anything but lie and manipulate. She is God's child first and he will have to look after her. I cannot. I also can't continue allowing her to cause such uproar in my life. I believe God never gives us more then we can handle, but I also believe that things should not be this much of a struggle if it's God and sometimes we just have to walk away. I am walking away. She needs to get help and start prioritizing or she doesn't deserve to be part of this family - "mother" or not.

When Buy Get One Free isn't!

So I went to the local women's clothing store and purchased some new pants, shirts and got conned into buying some chunky jewellery - necklaces to be exact. The necklaces were buy get one free so I thought that isn't a bad deal and maybe, just maybe my wardrode could do with some chunky jewellery. Low and behold I overspent (those who know me know that this is a condition I have). So when I got home I pulled out all my clothes and went over the receipt again. Guess what? The Buy One Get One Free broke down like this - 1st Necklace $ 24.00 discounted to $ 14.00, 2nd necklace $ 22.00 discounted to $ 12.00. So I am a little stunned by this and do the math. At most this transaction should have cost me $ 24.00 ($24.00 and the second one free). And if they did do the 50% discount the first necklace would have cost $12.00 and the second $ 11.00 totalling $23.00. Instead I have paid $ 26.00 for the two necklaces. So me being a little bit of a conspiracy theorist thinks this is a really neat marketing tool. How many people would A) actually look at the receipt, B) Bother to do the math (at first glance it appears they 1/2 the cost or C) Return to the store for the total of $ 2.00. Needless to say not only did I take back the chunky (ugly) necklaces and get my money back but I also pointed out the math discrepancy. Of course the store can blame it on a till being programmed incorrectly but I wonder if this isn't just a great use of marketing strategy in order to plump up the bottom line in these tough economic times. Me - I am going to continue to check my receipts. I am already a nightmare for most of the cashiers. I see this as a game and watch for scanning discrepancies (meaning I get the same item for free) and things that are supposed to be on sale that aren't. I am also the woman who will make the cashiers write rain checks AND I use coupons when I can.

Learning to be frugal

Well after 2 months hubby started a new job, in a new field as a mechanic - getting paid 1/2 of what he used to and having to learn a new career. This has put a strain on our finances and a big monkey wrench (no pun intended hehe) into my debt freedom plan. Things will probably be real tight now for the next couple of years. He comes home way happier then he ever did while doing accounting AND I believe God opened this door. So here I am trying to learn to coupon and budget and live less then in our means. I am trying to be faithful on our tithing and trying to trust God. I know things will be ok and we are here for a reason.

I also got an Aerogarden as an early birthday present and I am so funny checking and hovering over the little seeds (they haven't even sprouted yet - day 2 so I guess not). But I am very excited about it - we planted lettuce and I'll keep you posted on how that goes.

Sometimes I wonder if God is a sham....

I know that seems blasphemous and probably is, but I just sometimes wonder if He is really just a sham. I see people like my old boss, a Christian, whom everything he touches turns to gold. Although, part of that is that people buy into his scams, he makes money hands over fist. Then I see other people who are begging God to intervene on their behalf and he doesn't seem to hear them. I know in my own life, we had a great financial tumble and when you think things can't get worse - guess what they do. Hubby lost his job. We were already living less then paycheque to paycheque and now just after figuring out a budget and deciding to try to live below our means boom, carpet pulled out from under our feet. So I wonder are some people born to be have nots? Or is it possible to go from one camp to another? I was feeling pretty good about our life too, we were both working, have a nice little place, things are manageable. Now I need to try to figure out how to make due on one paycheque (impossible at best). Ah well. So God if you are reading this, I am asking for some guidance, some answers.

OK Lord What the ???

We are trying to pay down debt, setup a budget and found out we are living about 500 above our means OUCH. Then my fave uncle passed away last week and that pushed me into finding out what is all going on with my moms finances. I knew she was broke but I didn't know how bad it was. I went to her house to find out she is at least 3 months behind on rent etc. and is signing Payday loans etc. all over town. GRRRR. So we talked and I am trying to get guardianship so at least I can start helping her. Stress, stress, stress then Eddie goes to work today and gets fired. So the bible says God only gives up what we can handle. Well at this moment in time I am "handled" out. We have to go to Saskatchewan for the funeral (the only way my mom could get there anyways). Which means time off work, hotel, gas, food expenses, kenneling etc. I don't know if I want to throw up or cry. I thought I knew why we were out here (to help my mom). Now again I am wondering. I like my job and my house and I thought we had it all figured out. Now I am not so sure. Lord, I don't know if you are trying to move us in a different direction, a different place or what Lord. I believe that this is somehow for our benefit (although I can't see it) and I pray in Jesus name that you give Eddie the opportunity for a new job. One he can feel successful at Lord. I pray that you give us clear and concise direction for our life Lord - do we stay or do we go Lord. In Jesus name I pray.